How a simple question and a bag of garbage helped to shift my mindset
Quite a few years back, the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne was everywhere. Well, everywhere except on my reading list! Somehow, I missed the boat on this phenomenon and never read it. A few years ago, I decided to pick up the book and give it a read.
Here is the thing: there are two books by Rhonda Byrne with almost identical covers. So, instead of reading the book that was changing everyone’s life, called The Secret, I ended up reading a book that changed my life, called The Magic.
The Magic is all about the profound and magical powers of gratitude. The book is a 28-day guide on how to incorporate gratitude into your daily life and, in turn, find more positivity and joy. And, let me tell you, this book really did change my life.
The Magic was my first real introduction to gratitude. It helped me start noticing everything and everyone in my life—and to actually appreciate it all. After finishing the 28 days, I decided to keep going. I bought a cute little notebook, and every night, before I went to bed, I wrote down at least three things for which I was grateful. Sometimes it was very easy, and other days it was more difficult. Sometimes, the only thing I could get myself to feel grateful for was my cup of coffee. But I still filled out that journal every day.
Fairly quickly, I started noticing that the more I felt grateful for things, the more reasons I found to be grateful.
I still had my moods and moments, but overall, my mindset shifted to something much more positive.
This practice lasted consistently for about three years. Then, my nightly entries became fewer and fewer, until, eventually, they stopped. I have tried to pick it up again, but for some reason, I just can’t bring myself to be consistent with the practice. It almost feels like that particular practice of writing in a gratitude journal isn’t for me anymore.
Recently, I had a conversation with my therapist, and she mentioned the idea of gratitude. It was a simple statement that gave me such an Ah-HA moment, I felt as though I was reading the book again for the first time.
We were talking (okay, I was venting) about a recent situation at my house. My husband came home and made a (what I perceived as a rude) comment.
He said: “When you put the garbage out, you need to walk it all the way outside. Don’t just throw it in the garage.”
I was irritated. I had only thrown the garbage in the garage because I was cleaning the house and didn’t have a chance to walk it outside. I was cleaning and busy all day long.
But, he was also irritated at me. When he picked up the garbage, the bag broke and made a mess all over the garage.
So now we were both irritated with each other.
This situation is kind of a common occurrence at my house- not a big issue, not a big fight, but a general irritation.
After finishing my story, my therapist asked me the BIG question:
“Instead of being irritated, did either of you thank the other person for what they did? Either for picking up the mess in the garage or for cleaning the house?”
WHAT?! Honestly, it never even dawned on me.
In that moment, I realized what my new gratitude practice looks like: put gratitude first.
Instead of getting irritated and snapping at my son for leaving his lunch stuff out every single day, before he goes to work. I will take a moment to acknowledge the gratitude of making his lunch to save money. And THEN I will ask him to clean up the mess.
Instead of being frustrated with my daughter for waiting to do her homework until 9PM the night before it is due. I will first feel grateful that she is actually doing her homework and even asking for my help.
My new goal is to find the gratitude in the situation before responding.
I know this won’t always be easy, but it already feels better. I am so tired of being irritated at everyone (almost) all of the time. I think this little trick just might be the answer.
If you haven’t read The Magic yet, it is a great way to jumpstart your gratitude mindset. To anyone who wants to embark on this new and magical mindset challenge with me, I invite you to simply take a moment before responding and try to find the gratitude in the situation.
It really is that simple…but yet, oh so hard!
Want a little help learning practicing shifting from irritation to gratefulness? Download the journal and practice guide here for FREE!
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